Being Fat Isn’t the Worst Thing a Person Can Be, Y’unno | #ThisGirlEats

There’s a disturbing narrative that exists today, and we just can’t seem to shake it. It’s simple, really: Fat = Bad. It’s everywhere; we see with advertising selling us slimming products, the press fat-shaming celebrities, and people bombarding social media with before vs. after photos. No matter where we might find it, the message is always the same – being fat is the worst thing you can be.

And I’m so sick of it.

My most recent encounter with this was watching the latest TV ad for Weight Watchers. I can’t remember the exact words and, annoyingly, can’t find the advert anywhere online, but I distinctly remember the spokeswoman telling people to sign up on the basis that it will make them a “better version of themselves” – come to think of it, she might’ve even said the best version of yourself.

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Weight Watchers: Wellness that Works (umm…)

Because apparently, thinner ALWAYS equals better.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight, especially when it’s affecting your health and you think you could be in better shape; hell, I could stand to lose a few pounds myself! But the idea that being slimmer automatically makes you a better person – and, in turn, being bigger somehow detracts from you as an overall human being – is total bullshit.

Not only is it a load of rubbish, but it’s incredibly damaging. Pushing the “fat = bad, thin = good” narrative is bound to have a negative impact, particularly where eating disorders and mental health are concerned. Imagine telling someone with anorexia, for example, that being the thinnest version of themselves makes them the best version of themselves. Or how this could easily recycle that feeling of guilt in someone with bulimia to the point that they experience dangerous symptoms such as binging and purging. It seems so obviously dangerous to me in this context, I’m amazed we allow it to continue.

It’s clearly designed to make us feel terrible about ourselves. Telling us that we’re better when we’re thinner makes those of us whose bodies don’t fit these very particular – and sometimes unobtainable – specifications feel worthless, unattractive and uncomfortable in our own skin. It also strips us of our identities as people; it ignores all other aspects of our personalities and achievements, reducing how we measure up on the “good vs. bad scale” to nothing more than our weight.

I look at photos of myself from a few years back, before I gained the weight I now carry around with me (mostly in my lil’ tummy pooch), and sometimes I’m swept up in that narrative. I look at photos like the one below and think, “Wow, how did I let this version of myself slip away?!” And literally the ONLY reason I think that is because I’m thinner in those photos. That’s it. It’s not based on where I was at that point in my life, or how happy I was, or what I’d achieved. It’s because I was thinner – so I must’ve been better, right?

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NO, SAM! Of course not! That’s just such a ridiculous notion, I can’t believe I bought it for even a second! I look at what’s happened in my life since those photos and almost laugh at how absurd I’m being when I think I’m worse off now simply because of my weight. I’ve achieved bucket loads since then; I’m in a happy, committed relationship, moved out, learnt to drive, started (and ended!) my own music publication, created my blog and worked my way up to my dream job. I’m more accomplished, level-headed, hard-working, ambitious, sociable and confident than the person in that photo. I’m more comfortable with my body and appearance than I’ve ever been, regardless of my size.

I’m a better person for so, so many reasons right now, and it all has absolutely zilch to do with my weight.

I’m lucky enough that I can see that, despite falling down the rabbit hole every now and again. But all the while we give into this narrative that being fat is the worst thing you can be, and the only way to make yourself a better person is to lose weight, then this narrative will continue to win and companies like Weight Watchers will keep making these shitty adverts.

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Healing My Unhealthy Relationship with Food | #ThisGirlEats

Me and food, we’ve got a love-hate relationship. Sometimes it’s my best friend, sometimes it’s my enemy. The problem is, no matter how unhealthy my relationship with food might be, I need it to, y’unno, stay alive. That’s the bottom line, right?

I’ve got an ongoing battle between my love of food and the issues it causes me when it comes to weight, body image and self-consciousness. It’s something I’ve never known how to overcome and, truthfully, never thought I could.

But lately something has changed. I don’t know if it’s the conscious effort I’ve been spending on positive self-image, the incredible body positive women I follow online, or just the fact that I’ve coloured my hair recently and it looks great (not even gonna lie). We all know that when a gal changes her hair some serious shit is going down!

Pink and purple hair

Point is, even though I’m probably at my biggest right now, have stretch marks all over my body and took an incredibly lax approach to shaving my legs this winter, I have been feeling so much more positive about myself, my body and my relationship with food. My mind is like a sat nav, healing my deep-rooted problems with food and rerouting itself down a much better path.

I think this revelation started when I read Ruby Tandoh’s ‘Eat Up’ last summer. It made me start to listen to my body and really enjoy food instead of always fighting against it – you can read more about my thoughts on the book here.

Since then, I’ve definitely realised how negative it is to think some foods are “bad” and that I should feel “guilty” for eating, and that really made a difference.

For example, when me and my boyfriend go out to eat now it’s not about feeling bad for the three-course meal we’ve devoured and how we have to pop open the top button on our jeans on the car ride home. It’s about the quality time we spent together; the laughs we had trying to order items from the menu we couldn’t pronounce, the ideas we came up with for the future while dipping dough balls into garlic butter, the holiday we planned over a margherita pizza, the content quiet between us as we savoured delectable, sweet spoonfuls of chocolate ice cream.

Pizza Express margherita pizza
Pizza Express margherita pizza

It’s about getting out of the house and enjoying what life has to offer. It’s about loving food and company and conversation. It’s about caring for ourselves and nourishing our bodies, minds and souls. It’s about looking after relationships with each other, with ourselves, with food.

I currently have the healthiest view of food and myself that I’ve had in a long, long time. I don’t really know how it happened, or why it’s happening right now. But it is, and I’m happy.

Is There Really Such Thing as a “Healthy Weight”? | #ThisGirlEats

Before fitness fanatics, diet gurus and outraged lunatics on the internet start screaming at me, just HOLD YOUR HORSES.

I’m perfectly aware that, given our height and age, yes, there is an ideal healthy weight for each of us. I understand that, I get that, I agree with that. For our bodies to function at their absolute best, sure, figuring out a healthy weight plays a part.

But the real issue here is that, with nothing more than a look, people feel they can decide if someone is fat or thin and, in turn, determine their health.

That’s really, truly not the case.

More specifically, people will take one look at a bigger person and decide that they are definitely, undoubtedly, positively unhealthy. Full stop, no questions asked. If you’re overweight, you can’t be healthy.

Again, I completely understand and accept that being overweight can put physical strain on our bodies – as can doing shots of vodka until we black out, chain smoking Mayfairs and not peeing after sex. We’re all agreed there, I’m sure.

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But the problem is our perception when it comes to body weight and what that means in terms of health. If you see a fat person and think, “Wow, they must be grossly unhealthy to be that size!” you might be right. Might be.

But what about when you see a slim person? Do you ever think about their health? When you see someone looking like Kate Moss in the ’90s, do thoughts about how healthy they are even cross your mind? No. Probably not.

The issue here is the assumption that size must ALWAYS equal health and how our perception is that big people = unhealthy and slim people = healthy. That’s simply not true.

Of course there are overweight people who are unhealthy and slim people who are healthy, but you can’t know these things. Take me, for example. I’m somewhere in the middle – definitely not slim, on the bigger side of the scale but not really “large”. I don’t struggle to find clothes on the high street, put it that way (and yes, there are plenty of high street shops that don’t stock over a size 18 and leave many women at a loss – but that’s another issue for another time!).

I’m not particularly active. I don’t really exercise much, I sit on my arse all day at work and I’d quite happily mooch around at home doing absolutely zilch in my downtime – not very healthy, right? When it comes to food, I don’t eat meat, make lots of fresh, home-cooked meals and vegetables make up a huge portion of my diet, but I also would like to be drip-fed chocolate and can consume an entire large pizza like no-one’s business. In my case, my weight probably does reflect my health – not great, but not the worst.

Me eating a cheeseburger at Byron Burger last year
Tucking into a burger at Byron Burger last year

But I know people the same size as me who run every week, are regular gym-goers and climb mountains on their days off. I also know people much smaller than me who basically live off McDonald’s, act like they’re allergic to exercise and would snort sugar like cocaine if they could.

Is that healthy? No, obviously not. But it’s funny how people only seem to pipe up about someone’s health if the person in question is – you guessed it – fat. It’s like you’re allowed to eat all the junk food in the world and be as lazy as you want, as long as you stay thin while you do it.

The point is, you just don’t know. People of any size can be unhealthy, and in lots of different ways too. It comes down to so many things, not just fat or thin. Our weight isn’t the only determining factor in our health.

So, until you do know, please don’t comment on whether you think someone is or isn’t a “healthy weight”. In fact, unless you’re a healthcare professional, don’t do at all, because commenting on someone’s weight is just a pretty shitty thing to do.

Sitting in the sunshine
Sitting in the sunshine

Stop Letting Clothes Size Labels Take Over Your Life | #ThisGirlEats

Ask a woman her clothes size and you’ll NEVER get a straight answer.

If you were expecting a simple, “Oh, I’m a size 10,” then boy, are you in for a treat! You’re more likely to hear something along the lines of, “Well my top half is a size 14, but my bottom half is more like a size 16 and even then some jeans don’t fit over my bum, although in one shop I can get into a size 12, but in this other shop I always buy a size bigger…” It can go on. And on. And on.

It’s not our fault! Shops have to take responsibility here for doing some serious damage to our self-image. We all know we shouldn’t let a label dictate our self-confidence but if we’re all trying to push the body positive movement then the high street should help us along the way, right?

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There’s never going to be a ‘one size fits all’; I don’t expect every single store to be completely coherent. Some bras will always fit a bit better, some jeans will always pinch our tummies a little less (and yes, I’m gonna keep coming back to jeans because they are the WORST!). But let’s be honest, it sucks when you feel confident enough in your clothes size to buy from a new online store, try it all on at home and find that NONE of it fits. Why? This is your size, right? All your other clothes are this size and fit just fine.

Unless… have they just stretched to fit you? Have you put on weight without even noticing? Uh oh…

It’s even worse when you’re already unhappy with your size. When I gain weight the hands-down worst part is shifting up a clothes size. It’s a physical reminder that YOU’VE GOT FAT. Ugh. When you shop somewhere and fit into your dream size, it’s awesome 🎉 but when you go elsewhere and have to go up three sizes just to fit your calves into their skinny jeans, it feels rubbish. It leaves us very confused about our bodies, but it shouldn’t!

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Who cares about numbers on a label? We just throw them away anyway! We know that sizes mean NOTHING because you can be a size 12 in one shop and a size 18 in another, but either way you’re still YOU, whether you’re wearing a size 8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 18, 20, 22… you get the idea. The important thing is that you feel comfortable in your clothes, and your skin; wear things that look good, that make you feel good. No-one needs to know what size you’re wearing, and no-one cares – all they see is a gorgeous gal in a bangin’ outfit! Find clothes that look great and forget about those stupid labels – I’m pretty sure they make up those numbers anyway!