Post-Lockdown Bodies Are None of Our Business

We’re in a unique scenario right now where a huge chunk of the world is all experiencing the same thing. Lockdown, quarantine, self-isolating, social distancing (phrases I never want to hear ever again once this is all over) – whatever you’re calling it where you are, it’s safe to say this is something new to us all.

And with new experiences comes new discussions. Great, right? Well yes, in some respects. For example, it’s great that decent pay for NHS staff and working from home accessibility is being discussed, but what’s not so great is all these conversations about weight suddenly cropping up out of nowhere. As if we didn’t have enough body image woes to worry about, now it’s become one of major talking points during a pandemic – like washing my hands until they look like Leatherface has started making a range of gloves doesn’t stress me out enough!

The thing is, like most stories, there are two sides to this one. More families than ever are starting their day with virtual PE lessons, outdoor exercise is being embraced and healthier home cooking has become a necessity for most of us – and who can say any of that’s a bad thing? I’m certainly not against kids doing more exercise and a daily dose of fresh air, that’s for sure. And, of course, there’s the very rare gift of time that many of us have been given during lockdown to actually fit a workout into our otherwise hectic days.

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One of my rare post-workout moments

But, of course, as with anything to do with weight, diets, exercise and all that gumpf, there’s also the horribly negative stuff that comes along with it. People are beating themselves up about not moving as much as they usually do, perhaps because they’re feeling lethargic or experiencing mental health issues, or maybe because everything is just shit and they’re lonely and they can’t be arsed to do jumping jacks in their living room. As a result, I’ve seen dozens of people going on about gaining ‘lockdown weight’ as if it’s the worst thing that could possibly happen right now.

HELLO! We’re in the middle of a PANDEMIC! People are dying. Workers are losing their jobs. Local businesses are closing down. The government is ballsing everything up. You’re using every last ounce of strength you have to keep going while you’re separated from your loved ones, your plans are being cancelled and you can’t find any god forsaken toilet roll in the supermarket. The last thing you need to worry about, you lovely, precious, glorious human being, is putting on a few extra pounds while staying at home and keeping yourself and the rest of us safe. 

Let’s rewind a few weeks when Adele posted those photos and we all lost our minds. She looks bloody gorgeous – but she always has. She is so much more than those photos; she is talented, funny and a modern day cultural icon. It doesn’t matter whether she’s decided to spend lockdown jogging along with Joe Wicks every morning or if the trip from the living room to the kitchen and back is her daily exercise, she is still all of those wonderful things. She is more than just her weight. 

And so are you! Alright, so we can’t all be Adele (if only…) but you are worth more than your weight. We shouldn’t be judging people for eating a little more and moving a little less during quarantine, just as we shouldn’t judge those who have lost weight during this period. And, more importantly, you shouldn’t judge yourself for those things.  

It honestly, truly, doesn’t matter. You are literally surviving a pandemic and we’re all just trying our best to get through this rather rubbish time. We were all beautiful before we went into lockdown and we will all be beautiful once we come out of it. Right now, being fatter isn’t the worst thing that can happen to you – but getting through this safe and well is the best thing that can happen to you, so let’s all just focus on that.

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Sit back, relax and enjoy bread and cheese to your heart’s content
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Being Fat Isn’t the Worst Thing a Person Can Be, Y’unno | #ThisGirlEats

There’s a disturbing narrative that exists today, and we just can’t seem to shake it. It’s simple, really: Fat = Bad. It’s everywhere; we see with advertising selling us slimming products, the press fat-shaming celebrities, and people bombarding social media with before vs. after photos. No matter where we might find it, the message is always the same – being fat is the worst thing you can be.

And I’m so sick of it.

My most recent encounter with this was watching the latest TV ad for Weight Watchers. I can’t remember the exact words and, annoyingly, can’t find the advert anywhere online, but I distinctly remember the spokeswoman telling people to sign up on the basis that it will make them a “better version of themselves” – come to think of it, she might’ve even said the best version of yourself.

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Weight Watchers: Wellness that Works (umm…)

Because apparently, thinner ALWAYS equals better.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight, especially when it’s affecting your health and you think you could be in better shape; hell, I could stand to lose a few pounds myself! But the idea that being slimmer automatically makes you a better person – and, in turn, being bigger somehow detracts from you as an overall human being – is total bullshit.

Not only is it a load of rubbish, but it’s incredibly damaging. Pushing the “fat = bad, thin = good” narrative is bound to have a negative impact, particularly where eating disorders and mental health are concerned. Imagine telling someone with anorexia, for example, that being the thinnest version of themselves makes them the best version of themselves. Or how this could easily recycle that feeling of guilt in someone with bulimia to the point that they experience dangerous symptoms such as binging and purging. It seems so obviously dangerous to me in this context, I’m amazed we allow it to continue.

It’s clearly designed to make us feel terrible about ourselves. Telling us that we’re better when we’re thinner makes those of us whose bodies don’t fit these very particular – and sometimes unobtainable – specifications feel worthless, unattractive and uncomfortable in our own skin. It also strips us of our identities as people; it ignores all other aspects of our personalities and achievements, reducing how we measure up on the “good vs. bad scale” to nothing more than our weight.

I look at photos of myself from a few years back, before I gained the weight I now carry around with me (mostly in my lil’ tummy pooch), and sometimes I’m swept up in that narrative. I look at photos like the one below and think, “Wow, how did I let this version of myself slip away?!” And literally the ONLY reason I think that is because I’m thinner in those photos. That’s it. It’s not based on where I was at that point in my life, or how happy I was, or what I’d achieved. It’s because I was thinner – so I must’ve been better, right?

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NO, SAM! Of course not! That’s just such a ridiculous notion, I can’t believe I bought it for even a second! I look at what’s happened in my life since those photos and almost laugh at how absurd I’m being when I think I’m worse off now simply because of my weight. I’ve achieved bucket loads since then; I’m in a happy, committed relationship, moved out, learnt to drive, started (and ended!) my own music publication, created my blog and worked my way up to my dream job. I’m more accomplished, level-headed, hard-working, ambitious, sociable and confident than the person in that photo. I’m more comfortable with my body and appearance than I’ve ever been, regardless of my size.

I’m a better person for so, so many reasons right now, and it all has absolutely zilch to do with my weight.

I’m lucky enough that I can see that, despite falling down the rabbit hole every now and again. But all the while we give into this narrative that being fat is the worst thing you can be, and the only way to make yourself a better person is to lose weight, then this narrative will continue to win and companies like Weight Watchers will keep making these shitty adverts.

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Tough Love: No Meat, No Junk, No Booze November! | #ThisGirlEats

Looking after yourself is important, right? Sometimes that means eating well and exercising, sometimes that means staying in with a bowl of ice cream and not moving for hours until you feel better about things. Each to their own.

I like the idea that there are lots of different ways to be healthy and, sometimes, being good to yourself means eating the “bad” food. Starving ourselves instead of listening to what our body actually craves, obsessing over each and every mouthful, that’s not healthy. But, of course, neither is filling our bodies with too much salt, sugar and fat, missing out on the nutrients that help us perform at our best.

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Mozzarella and tomato crisp bake with herby new potatoes and side salad

I try my hardest to be good to my body, but it’s no secret that I often fail. This month, however, I’m determined to make a very strict, very sudden change out of my comfort zone  because, sometimes, tough love is necessary to achieve your goals.

The reason I’m treating November as a go-hard-or-go-home month is because I’ve got some things coming up that I really want to look my best for and, thanks to my pretty lax attitude this year, I’m not in the shape I hoped to be.

I’ve now decided, for this one month only, I’m going against everything I usually believe when it comes to diets and restricting yourself. No meat, no takeaways, no alcohol, no large portions, not until the occasion I’m doing this all for comes around towards the end of this month. That’s just over three weeks of being super strict with myself, something I’m not good at.

While I’m doing this, I’m also determined to prove that healthier food, going meat-free and eating smaller portion sizes doesn’t mean you’re stuck with a plate of salad night after night. You can still eat delicious, satisfying food that tastes incredible without feeling like you’re missing out.

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Lentil and spinach daal with brown rice and mini naan breads

If you want to see what I mean, head over to my Instagram (@hashtagthisgirleats) where I’ll be posting a photo of what I’m eating every night this month just to prove cutting down doesn’t mean losing out! There are a few sneak previews in this blog post…

Don’t worry, once this month is up I’ll be back to advocating eating what you want, when you want, and trying to find a healthy balance. But sometimes you’ve got to buckle down and focus to achieve your goals, even if it means being a little strict with yourself.

I Want to Get Fit, But Joining a Gym Really Isn’t For Me | #ThisGirlEats

Every fitness freak and health guru I know goes to the gym, so I’m not here to bash it; it works, no doubt about it. Obviously it’s great to get off our butts to exercise and, for most people, the gym is the perfect place, with access to equipment, space and support that they don’t have at home. But I’m just NOT a gym person, and I can’t see that changing anytime soon.

I’ll be totally honest – I’m scared. The thought of trying to exercise – and I’m no athlete, I’ll tell ya that – in a room full of people, is my idea of hell. It’s super intimidating and a hurdle I have no interest in overcoming. I find it hard enough to pluck up the determination and motivation to work out in the first place, let alone having to worry about getting some confidence under my belt as well.

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And then it’s the money. Sure, some gym memberships are affordable, but it’s very much a disposable income luxury. And before I’m bombarded with links to cheap gym subscriptions and people yelling at me “I ONLY PAY £15 A MONTH FOR MINE, I BET YOU SPEND MORE THAN THAT ON STARBUCKS COFFEE EVERY WEEK, BLA BLA BLA!” (because that’s how people yell on Twitter), yes, I understand that’s affordable – for some people. But when you’re skint, anything out of budget is an extra expense, no matter how much of a bargain it may seem to someone else. And I don’t buy Starbucks coffee, thank you very much.

Nope, if I’m going to exercise, you can betcha I’m doing it for free. Running suits me much better than any gym – sure, I’m still rubbish at it, but it doesn’t cost me a penny, it’s out in the fresh air and if I see another person and start feeling self-conscious then I just run away from them! I have spent money occasionally when it comes to exercise – a yoga mat, weights, a collapsible bike – but once they’re paid for I can get as much use out of them as I like without signing up for a membership! 🏃‍♀️

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Like I said, gyms obviously do wonders for some people and if you’ve got that mentality about you then great. Good on ya. But it just doesn’t appeal to me, and I’m afraid I won’t be converted anytime soon (unless someone wants to pay for my membership and give me a private workout room, please and thank you!).

SERIES: My Journey to a Healthier Lifestyle #7 | #ThisGirlEats

2PM: The nurse at my appointment today told me I’d lost weight since the last time I saw her when I hopped off the scales *internal happy dance*. I decided to take that as “You’ve lost a few pounds since last time, good on ya!” 👍 rather than “You’re not as fat as the last time you were here.” 😬

3PM: Followed the successful trip to the doctor’s up with a slice of cake. Obviously. But it was gluten-free so that makes it healthy, right? Well, no. Actually, lots of gluten-free food is loaded with hefty doses of sugar, fats and other naughty things to make it taste less, well, gross. This tasted quite nice, as it goes.

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8:45PM: This dinner was WELL worth the wait. Ever since our trip to Prague last January (as you can see from this blog’s lead photo, we had a great time) I’ve fallen in love with Czech food and goulash is my favourite thing to make from my Czech & Slovak cookbook, especially with the helping hand of the slow cooker. Easy peasy.

FOOD DIARY

Breakfast
🍲 Cup of green tea

Lunch
🍲 Cheesy beans on toast
🍲 Glass of orange squash
🍲 Small Diet Coke
🍲 Small slice of gluten-free Victoria sponge
🍲 500ml water

Dinner
🍲 Slow cooked beef goulash with garlic bread
🍲 Small pot of chocolate mousse
🍲 Glass of orange squash