positivity – #ThisGirlEats

We All Have Bad Days – Here’s How I Pick Myself Up | #ThisGirlEats

No matter how great things are, we all find ourselves in a bit of a slump every now and then. I’ve been having a bit of a rubbish week myself, for literally no reason whatsoever – which, in a way, makes it harder to shake off because you don’t really know what brought it on in the first place!

I’ve got a few techniques in my back pocket that I pull out at times like this, and they’ve got me out of more than one sticky situation in the past…

1. Spruce myself up

I’m not talking about some expensive luxe spa day, but it’s always nice to pamper myself when I’m feeling down in the dumps. It’s only ever something small and simple, like finally refreshing my chipped nail varnish, or getting rid of those nasty roots with a fun new hair colour. Just a little self-maintenance makes me feel like I’m presenting the best version of myself to the world, even if I don’t feel like it on the inside.

2. Get some fresh air

I’m not exactly the outdoorsy type, but there really is nothing like getting some air in your lungs when you’re in a bad mood. Moping around the flat by myself only makes me more miserable, but getting outside for a walk or run (if I’m feeling particularly energetic!) always helps me feel as though I’m one step closer to getting out of whatever funk I’m in.

3. Quality cat time

I’m a cat person – I think we’ve all established that through the constant Instagram stories of my rescue Chinchilla Persian floof, Flora. It might sound silly to those who aren’t “animal people”, but anyone with a pet – be it a cat, dog, whatever – knows how important those precious playmates are to the household. I adore my little munchkin (yes, I call her disgustingly soppy nicknames like that) and she never fails to cheer me up when I’m feeling down with plenty of fluffy cuddles.

4. Get productive

One of the most common causes of my bad moods is when I’m unsatisfied with how I’ve spent my day. If I’ve wasted an entire weekend doing nothing, or I planned to get loads of things done and just didn’t get round to it, I always end the day feeling seriously frustrated – which sucks, obviously. A quick fix for this is simply to do something. Anything! Write that blog post, send that email, upload that video, edit that photo; the more I tick off my to-do list, the better I feel when bedtime rolls around.

5. Do some spring cleaning

This might surprise you if you’ve ever dropped in on me unexpectedly and seen the chaos littered throughout my flat, but nothing puts me in a negative head-space more than mess. When the washing piles up and the layer of dust on the telly gets thicker and mounds of crap stands between me and my bed, I can instantly feel a migraine coming on… Going on a de-cluttering spree or a cleaning frenzy helps organise my home as well as my mind.

6. Throwback

I know puberty was a traumatic time and most people wish they could just forget their teenage years but, for me, I’m one of the lucky ones; I got off pretty easy. Despite the usual teenage girl drama, those years hold some of my fondest memories and remind me of a time when life was, for the most part, fun and carefree. So when I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed by the real world, I take myself back to that time, whether it’s by playing tunes I loved listening to on the walk to school or flicking though embarrassing Facebook photos taken on my Sony Ericsson Cyber-shot.

7. Cook up a storm

It’s not for everyone, but cooking really relaxes me. Sure, it’s a bit hectic when you’ve got a million pans on the go, no-one in the house eats the same meal and the stuff on the top shelf of the oven is burning while the stuff on the bottom still looks anaemic – but hey, it’s all part of the fun! Giving myself a challenge in the kitchen distracts me, allows quality time by myself doing something I love, and I always feel proud as punch when it all comes together and tastes delicious in the end.

8. Grab a big mug and fill to the brim with herbal tea

This trick is especially handy when I’m feeling physically sluggish; if I’ve eaten a lot of junk food over the weekend or I’ve found my eyes to be bigger than my belly once again. I never get a good night’s sleep if I’m going to bed feeling uncomfortable, but a lovely cup of green tea is a great pallet cleanser and refreshes my digestive system. I also find camomile helps when I’m feeling restless and irritable, and lemon and ginger is great for banishing the sniffles.

9. Make plans

Sometimes, when you feel stuck in a rut, it’s really hard to find your way out of it. It can almost cloud your perspective and feel impossible to see through the fog of your current state of mind. Something that pushes me to get out of wallowing in the present when things aren’t so great is to make plans for the future; not always easy when you’re feeling down, I know. But if you can muster up the energy to look ahead, having something to look forward to – a holiday, a date, a day out – can give you back some of the focus that you might’ve lost.

10. Take a deep breath

Simple, but always effective.

Feeling the Positive Effects of Social Media (Yes, They Do Exist!) | #ThisGirlEats

Social media can be a scary place. Trolls, cyber bullies, hate groups – it’s no wonder most of our parents are technophobes and the older generations boast about how things were “better in my day!”.

Well of course it was better in your day Susan, the bank was handing out zero deposit mortgages like nobody’s business, the planet wasn’t dying at a catastrophic rate and you could buy two pints down the pub with a fiver and still get change!

I digress…

Anyway, yes, social media can be a breeding ground for negativity. One minute you’re bombarded by online slanging matches between strangers on Twitter, the next you’re stewing in a pit of jealousy over beautiful influencers showing off their perfect(-ly filtered) lives on Instagram. It’s a minefield.

It doesn’t have to be that way, though. These sites give us the option to mute, block or unfollow people that make us feel, well, shit – and that’s brilliant! But what’s even better is finding people who make social media a bearable – maybe even positive – place to hang out.

I’ve enjoyed scrolling through my phone so much more since I made a conscious effort to erase the trashbags and put some bright, affirmative, supportive women at the forefront of my feed.

Now whenever I flick between my apps (the modern day equivalent of channel hopping while the ads are on, right?) I’m confronted by educated words of self-love and self-confidence, photos of women who are happy in their own skin and promote body positivity and blog posts bursting with advice and encouragement and reassurance.

I know social media is always going to be dangerous to navigate – you can never be sure when a bigoted idiot will pop up spouting nonsense and retweeting Piers Morgan with the caption “He just has the balls to say what the rest of us were thinking!” You can’t win ‘em all.

But by just filling my timeline with people who make me feel good about myself, inspire me to do better and brighten my day I’ve found my phone a much more pleasant companion.

Let’s be honest, we spend half our lives with our heads buried in social media so we might as well make it half decent place to be!

If you want to check out some of the awesome people I follow, here are my top picks!

Lucy Mountain – calling out fake diets and making fun of fitness fads (@thefashionfitnessfoodie)
Stephanie Yeboah – plus-size blogger advocating fat acceptance (@nerdabouttown)
Helen Anderson – all about that self-love life! (@helenanderz)
Amy Kennedy – vegan food at budget prices (@amythevegan)
Jen Brett – stamping out diet culture and promoting positive body image (@jenbretty)
Emily Clarkson – straight-talking blogger who oozes confidence (@EmilyClarkson)
Jameela Jamil – star of ‘The Good Place’, creator of the @i_weigh movement and voice for loving the skin your in (@jameelajamil)
Carrie Hope Fletcher – musical theatre star and general ray of sunshine (@CarrieHFletcher)

My First Reading Festival & How It Did Me the World of Good | #ThisGirlEats

I’ve wanted to go to Reading Festival for YEARS. I might’ve missed its glory days as the number one festival for emo kids (my mum wouldn’t let me go – I was still in school and wanted to spend the weekend alone with my older boyfriend, to be fair to her), but that doesn’t mean it ever lost its place on my bucket list.

When this year’s line-up was peppered with hope for my lost teenage years – Fall Out Boy, Panic! At The Disco, Papa Roach – as well as some newer bands I love, I decided that 2018 would be the year for my first ever Reading Festival. And you know what? It was probably the most fun weekend I’ve ever had!

I knew jamming to some of my favourite bands and drinking all weekend would be a laugh, but I didn’t expect it to do me quite so much good. I left feeling ten times better in myself than when I arrived, despite stinking to high heavens, and I realised just how much I needed this.

Not looking in a full-length mirror for five days is something I’d highly, highly recommend. It didn’t even cross my mind, but when I left I realised I hadn’t actually checked my body’s reflection the entire festival. It felt amazing. I didn’t worry about if my hips bulged or my butt looked big, I just threw on whatever clothes I’d packed and that was that. If only it was always that simple!

I didn’t worry about what I ate, either. I picked at chips, treated myself to burgers and halloumi fries, and just generally ate whatever I fancied, whenever I fancied it. I didn’t have to plan ahead or cook for anyone or worry about calories and honestly, it was such a weight off my mind – no pun intended!

Okay, so it wasn’t perfect. I don’t know a single thing about camping and our tent ended up full of muddy puddles, and we weren’t exactly the youngest people there. I never want to see another can of Strongbow in my life, nor will I ever take white boots to a festival again (seriously, what was I thinking…).

But still, it’s probably the least self-conscious or anxious I’ve ever felt, for longer than I would’ve ever thought possible, and that’s a pretty big deal for me. I spent all weekend in a damp tent and dirty fields but it turns out it might as well have been a spa weekend!

Feeling Demotivated? These Songs Always Help Me Get Back Into My Groove | #ThisGirlEats

Lately, I’ve hit another slump. It’s difficult, trying to keep up this whole blogging thing, one minute you’re buzzing full of creativity and the next you can barely muster up the energy to open your laptop. The blogging bug comes and goes it has definitely, for the time being, packed up its bags and left me. Probably for someone hotter with more money and a nicer car…

A whole load of things that can lift that dark cloud. Sometimes it’s getting a little positive boost out of nowhere, sometimes the ideas just hit you. For me, these tunes definitely help! I’m not saying they’re going to turn your world upside down, but they always perk me up and get me back into the swing of things, even if only for an hour or two.

I’ve got a “FEEL-GOOD!” playlist on Spotify and I’d really advise doing something similar. Throwing together a bunch of positive, upbeat, fun songs that make you feel better and having it to hand whenever you need a pick-me-up is one of the many benefits of living in the modern age!

Hakuna Matata – The Lion King
Who doesn’t feel better after hearing this awesome song from the BEST DISNEY FILM EVER?! Don’t even try arguing with me.

Rose-Colored Boy – Paramore
Paramore are masters of creating songs about feeling kinda rubbish but with a cute, upbeat melody that always makes you feel good.

You Need Me, I Don’t Need You – Ed Sheeran
Whenever I feel like I’m not quite where I want to be, this song reminds me that I’m awesome and have plenty to bring to the table.

Pork and Beans – Weezer
‘Pork and Beans’ always reminds me, when I’m having a bit of a self-confidence wobble, that I’m totally fine just the way I am, and should never worry about just being myself.

Born This Way – Lady Gaga
The ultimate positive anthem, you can’t help but feel better with this song and its life-affirming message!

Happy As F**k – MOD SUN
Just a small nudge to appreciate life, and all the little things we should be grateful for.

Hard Times – Paramore
Put on ‘Hard Times’ and I’ll relate. BIG TIME. But I’ll also start dancing, it’s inevitable.

Give Me One Good Reason – blink-182
This is a great one for telling yourself that you don’t need to change or compromise for others, that you don’t need to be just like everyone else. You do you!

Weirdo – VUKOVI
There is NOTHING wrong with being weird! All the best people are…

Unstoppable – Sia
Want to feel empowered? Strong? Totally capable of absolutely anything? This song is the one!

Survivor – Destiny’s Child
Need I say more?!

Turn Your Frown Upside Down – How Seeing the Positives in Others Can Do Wonders For Your Own Self-Confidence

I’ve talked about what a bitch that little voice in your head can be. You know, the one that just loves to narrate your life with a running inner-monologue of self-doubt and anxiety. It makes us guilty of comparing ourselves to others, and also of judging others – ironic, isn’t is, as we usually fear that’s what people are doing to us?

morticia gif — *Image: awesomelyluvvie.com*

We’re all to blame. It’s easy to think, “why don’t I have hair/teeth/boobs/legs like that?” and, yes, that damages our self-esteem. But it’s just as easy to think, “Thank goodness I DON’T have hair/teeth/boobs/legs like that!” Both are just as negative; you’re either trashing yourself – which, btw, you don’t deserve – or becoming part of the same endless cycle that makes you feel so rubbish in the first place!

Nipping that voice in the bud is hard. It can feel like you need some sort of spoon-bending, Professor X-level mind power to silence it. You might not be able to turn it off completely (if you do, can you write some kind of self-help book for the rest of us please?) but maybe you could turn it around…

When you see someone – just a random stranger, anyone really – and you hear that voice start to creep up, change it’s tune. Take control. Make a positive affirmation about that person which reflects negatively on no-one. Pause, look at them and find something positive. There’s always something positive!

Instead of thinking, “Oh god, she’s owning the room like a glamour model and here I am looking like a sack of potatoes…” just take a second to evaluate your own self-worth. You don’t need to hear that. You don’t have to put that kind of pressure of yourself.

Stop.

Think, “Wow, I really like that shade of lipstick she’s wearing, it looks gorgeous. That’d really suit me, maybe I should look for something similar.”

Instead of thinking, “Jeez, who let her leave the house in that outfit this morning?!” just take a second to consider their feelings. Consider how it’d make you feel. They don’t deserve that kind of judgement. By inflicting it upon them, aren’t you just spreading more of the same negativity that you’re so afraid of yourself? Think, “Wow, look at that lanyard around her neck! If she works there she must have an AMAZING job! Good for her!”

It’s not a fix-it-all solution, and OF COURSE our self-worth often runs deeper than these superficial thoughts. But it’s about putting a stop to the negativity. You know the saying, if you haven’t got anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all? Well, it’s the same with our thoughts. If you can’t think of something positive about someone, just leave it alone. But if we can all spread little nuggets of happy, sunny loveliness, our days would be more bearable. Trust me, you’ll feel a million times better for it!