If you asked me ten years ago what my favourite time of year was, I definitely would’ve said summer.
That probably had something to do with still being in school and getting six weeks off for summer hols, but also because summer has always been my go-to fave ☀️ I hate the cold weather, the rain and the snow, but I bloody love the sunshine, the feeling of warmth on your skin, the light evenings. But since my precious summer holidays have been taken away and I’ve had to face up to the harsh realities of summer as an adult (seriously, who do I speak to about getting mandatory seasonal breaks for grown-ups?) I’m starting to find myself developing more of a love-hate relationship with summer.
The dark, gloomy winter months suck. They do. But there’s something lovely about cosying up in your biggest, snuggliest jumper, walking through town under their (slightly shit) Christmas lights and curling up with a blanket eating comfort food and watching telly. Yes, I’m aware I sound about 80 right now but it’s just nice, isn’t it?
As I’ve got older, I’m leaning more towards these winter nights than the summer days I once adored. Gone are endless beach days and lazing about for hours turning gradually lobster red; now most of my summer is spent in a stuffy office with the WORST air con in the world, never being able to decide what to wear because getting my legs out gives me heart palpitations and I always forget to paint my toenails, and sitting upstairs in the flat complaining that we don’t have a garden.
This year more than ever, I’ve put on a little weight (I guess that’s what happens when you go from running about in retail all day to sitting your butt on an office chair, only getting up for lunch breaks and to pee) and the summer has become a struggle.
I have endless love for curvy, plus size women who absolutely rock their summer dresses and bikinis with an awesome confidence – these babes look beautiful! 😍 They’re definite proof that just because you’ve got a little extra meat on your bones doesn’t mean you can’t flash the flesh in the summer, but I’m just not there yet. I don’t have the self-confidence, especially as revisiting my mostly-too-small summer wardrobe made me feel even worse about myself! I’m surrounded by girls wearing short skirts, cute sandals, pretty dresses, but it’s just not me. Not right now, anyway.
One good thing has come out of this summer – it’s given me fresh new motivation to get fit and lose the weight I’ve gained, because I cannot go through this again. It’s just too depressing! This time next year I want to be able to pluck out my favourite summer clothes and fit into them with ease. Not too much to ask, right? I’ve needed something to kick me into action because my “get-up-and-go” has been virtually non-existent lately and has resulted in many, many ill-advised takeaways…
So yes, this year I’m loving the sunshine but hating the fact that I have to choose between showing off my body or melting in the heat and am kinda looking forward to covering up in jeans and jumpers again. But hopefully next summer you’ll see me back to rocking my grunger shorts, blink-182 vests and Hell Bunny dresses with a smile on my face.
When you’re drinking your weight in cocktails, visiting amazing local restaurants and experiencing the glorious all-inclusive buffet for a week, it makes you question yourself. You know how it goes: “Oh god. Look at my body. Look at 
#ThisGirlEats 