Dazed & Confused: Life in Your Mid-Twenties | #ThisGirlEats

Hi. I’m smack-bang in the middle of my twenties, and I have no idea what I want out of life.

When I was little, your mid-twenties was a whole different ballgame. That’s when “stuff” happened, you know? My parents, and most of my friends’ parents, had all us kiddies in their twenties, and pretty much all of them were married to boot. They had houses, proper jobs, big cars and their lives were pretty much sorted. It was work Monday to Friday, dinner on the table by six o’ clock and go to the local pub on the weekends. Lather, rinse, repeat.

But us lot? We’re a whole new generation, and we’re doing things very differently.

Growing up, I thought I knew exactly what I wanted and, more to the point, I thought I knew exactly when it would happen. I’d fall in love with my childhood sweetheart, get a good job, be married and have kids by 25 and live the rest of my days in my three bedroom, semi-detached house with a garden, two cats and a cocker spaniel.

I don’t know when I changed my mind about – well, all of it. Except the cats and cocker spaniel. But here I am, 25 years old, with no childhood sweetheart (my boyfriend is almost six years older than me so that’d be weird..), no house, no plans for kids and only just about to start my first ever job that actually leaves me with a few scraps after rent.

These days, it’s almost frowned upon to do any of those things in your twenties. With most of my social circles, if you’re walking down that aisle or sharing sonograms even at the age of 25 – when most of our parents were doing, or had done, exactly that – you can expect some raised eyebrows at the very least.

The weirdest part is, most of those raised eyebrows are from us! I’m one of the worst, absolutely recoiling at the idea of babies, feeling completely baffled by the world of mortgages, lying awake at night bricking it about having a “proper job”, and getting queasy with anxiety at the mere thought of a marriage proposal.

I think I might want some of those things. Maybe. One day. But the problem is, if I don’t want them now – at the age I always thought I would, and the age our parents did – when will I want them? Unlike my younger self, I’m clueless about what I want. And if I don’t even know what I want, how the hell am I meant to know when it’ll happen?!

I guess the truth is, I don’t. I don’t know when these things will happen, or if they ever will. Our parents think we’re at the age where we should be getting our lives together and they’re expecting those sorts of milestones from us, while our peers think we’re still way too young. It’s very confusing, it’s a lot of pressure, and it leaves me feeling like I know very little about my future.

But what I do know is this: I like my life right now. And for me, for now, that’s enough.

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Embrace Yourself: Why You Shouldn’t Be Scared of Being Alone | #ThisGirlEats

I don’t know if it’s having an independent personality that makes it easy for me to say this, or if it’s just because I’ve always been a natural introvert, but I’ve always felt it’s so important to embrace being alone instead of being afraid of it.

I’d like to point out right away that being alone is very different to being lonely; you can be alone and still feel support from a strong, loving network of family, friends and co-workers around you. Being lonely sucks and can wreck havoc on your mental health, and I don’t think there’s a soul out there who likes to feel lonely.

But feeling comfortable and confident enough to be happy left alone with just yourself for company is, for me, one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever given myself.

Standing on Santa Monica Pier

I think growing up an only child really planted the seed. I didn’t have siblings to play – or fight! – with. I didn’t have an older brother to sneak me out and take me to cool places when I was too young to go on my own, or a little sister to fuss over and take care of. I spent hours as a kid making up my own imaginary games or reading quietly to myself and it taught me to be totally cool with my own company.

I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with being a social butterfly either; I often wish I was more extroverted and there have definitely been situations where this “only child syndrome” has held me back.

But throughout my life I’ve met so many people who, for whatever reason – insecurity, anxiety, uncertainty, instability, dependency – think that being alone is the worst thing that could happen. I’ve known people who have put themselves in dangerous situations just because they’d rather be with someone who isn’t good for them than no-one at all.

It’s hard to admit. It’s even harder to overcome. Sometimes it’s damn near impossible to actually realise you’re in that predicament in the first place, because being in a bubble with someone, even if it’s an unhappy bubble, is easier than bursting out and facing the world alone.

And, hey, that’s a legitimate fear. The world is a scary place, especially when you’re braving it on your own. The last person you’d want to be left out here alone with is someone you don’t trust, understand or love – and what do you do if that person is yourself?

But the first step towards embracing who you are is getting to know yourself when it’s just you. Alone. No facade, no showing off, no pretending. When you can just sit quietly by yourself and feel at home, that’s when you really get to know who you are.

Standing at the entrance to Disneyland Paris

There are loads of reasons people don’t like being alone, and that’s fine. But if you’re scared of being alone, I’m here to tell you that you really don’t need to be. No-one knows you better than you, no-one can guide and support you better than you, no-one knows how to care for you better than you.

Stepping out into the big, wide world alone is super daunting but, trust me, YOU GOT THIS. Have faith in you.

New Year’s Resolutions & What I Want to Achieve in 2019 | #ThisGirlEats

Plenty of people hate this “New Year” stuff, especially the sudden proclamations to change just because the last number on our calendars flips over. People roll their eyes at resolutions but, I’m sorry, I LOVE New Year’s – and everything that goes with it!

So what if people choose to plan their goals now? And who cares if they give up before January is even out?! I’m in no position to look down on people who want to make positive changes.

It helps me feel optimistic about what’s to come, and having defined goals in a clear timeframe motivates me. Maybe it’s not for everyone, and that’s fine, but it works for me. So here’s what I’d like to achieve in 2019!

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HOME. Moving out last year was huge for me. I don’t regret it one teeny, tiny bit but, of course, it’s expensive and time-consuming. I love our flat but there are so many things I’d change! A definite goal for next year is to make some serious home improvements. I’m hoping to make our home a cleaner, tidier space with much more personality and a few extra homely touches. I want it to really feel like somewhere we can de-clutter, de-stress and soak up those happy vibes.

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BLOG. Blogging is my only creative outlet and I really love it. This year, the intention was to grow the blog, turn it into something I could envision making an actual living from one day… but that hasn’t happened. It’s totally my fault! But I’d like 2019 to see more engagement, bigger numbers, real progress and a fresh coat of paint, so to speak.

WORK. This time last year I’d just started a new job and felt like I’d really made a positive career move. That’s still true, but I’ve been doing the same thing for a year now and, honestly, I’d just like to change things up a bit. I don’t mean finding a new job; I’d just like to change up my daily routine. New responsibilities, different tasks, maybe even a change in department – basically, I don’t want to be doing exactly the same thing this time next year.

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BODY. I’ve not looked after myself this year. I’ve gained loads of weight and really felt the impact of not living a healthier lifestyle. I mean, I wasn’t happy with my body before, so I’m having a bloody nightmare now! I’m still fighting the uphill battle to love myself, but I think regular exercise and healthier eating, consistently, would be super positive for me. I’ve made no secret that I struggle with that, but it’s playing havoc with my mental health now, so things need to change.

MONEY. Money isn’t everything, that’s why it’s at the bottom of my list. There’s food on the table and a roof over my head, I’m grateful for that. But it’s also pretty hard living entirely out of my overdraft; I honestly can’t remember when my bank balance didn’t start with a minus. I’ve dipped into savings, nest eggs and rainy day funds, I’ve taken out loans, I’ve borrowed from family and friends… Honestly, it’s exhausting. Getting out of my overdraft would lift a bloody huge weight off my shoulders and make a massive difference.

Is One Type of Friendship Really Better Than Another? | #ThisGirlEats

We spend our whole lives forming relationships. Even if you don’t consider yourself a particularly sociable individual (me, lol) it’s impossible to go through life without new relationships popping up and, in some cases, becoming great friendships.

You go to work, you meet new colleagues. You date someone, you’re introduced to a new circle of peers. You move house, you’re living with new neighbours. If we’re lucky, new friendships develop too and that kinda makes it worthwhile – right?

But when I started thinking about the different friendships I’ve made throughout my life, both past and present, and just how unique they all are, I asked myself something – is one type of friendship “better” than others?

Some people truly are BFFs – joined at the hip, constantly messaging, know intricate details of each other’s lives. It looks pretty good. I’ve definitely had friends like this in my life but, right now, I wouldn’t say I’ve got this kind of friendship with anyone. That sounds a little sad, doesn’t it? But, then again, is living in each other’s pockets really that great?

I once lived with a friend at uni and thought we were as close as it gets. Literally living together. Sharing a bathroom, cooking dinner for each other, taking turns washing up… It was great! But a little way down the line something irreparable happened between us (soz, that’s a whooole other story!) and it all came to a very sudden, very definitive halt. That was that. So much for closeness, huh?

I’ve got friends I hardly ever see, or even speak to. We go months without even DMing and meeting up is an incredibly rare occasion. The ties that bound us together in the past – going to school together and growing up in the same town – have long faded, and a sad distance took their place. But when we do hang out the connection is amazing, like no time has passed at all. It’s familiar, it’s easy; irreplaceable, even. When I think about it, these friendships have really stood their ground.

But what about the friendships that don’t even really belong to us? Ones brought together by work, or perhaps those of your other half. These friendships start off because outside forces shoved you together, but you’ve stuck around because a genuine friendship has blossomed beyond whatever catalyst started it all. For me, these are usually people I wouldn’t naturally be drawn towards; because of that, these friendships are the most fun. They reveal parts of you that you never knew, bring out a personality you might not expect and force you to live outside of your usual circle.

These days, some friendships only exist in a virtual world, glued together by social media and smartphones. I’ve heard people say online friends aren’t “real friends” but many of us bloggers know that the online community can sometimes be more supportive than the actual living, breathing people in your life. Let’s be honest, we spend most of our lives online now anyway, so it’s only to be expected.

Thinking through all these different types of friendships – pretty much all of which I’ve experienced at one time or another – has led me to at least one conclusion: there might be best friends in life, but there’s no such thing as a best friendship.

RECIPE: Chicken Salad Wraps With Smashed Avocado | #ThisGirlEats

Serves: 2
How much does it cost? This recipe cost me less than £1 per person.
What are the benefits? These wraps provide at least one of your five a day, as well as being high in fibre and vitamins from the avocado.

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Guacamole is a b-e-a-utiful thing, but it can be tricky to create an absolutely perfect version of the quintessential Mexican dip. However, no fear; there is a shortcut – smashed avocado. It’s creamier than just chunks of avocado but not as much effort as full-on guac, which is the perfect middle ground for me. 🥑

This wrap is a great packed lunch idea because it’s so quick and easy to put together with only a few ingredients. If you wanted to make it more adventurous you could always adapt; add some sauce, onions and peppers, perhaps some bacon… I’ve kept things simple here, but that doesn’t mean you have to!

If you’re after feel-good food, look no further. Avocado is bursting with “good” fats and, along with the salad, this little wrap packs in a hell of a lot of healthy greens! Chicken provides the lean protein, and will leave you feeling full without being bloated on fatty, greasy meat.  Perfect!

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INGREDIENTS
1 Chicken Breast
1/2 Bag of Prepared Mixed Salad
1/2 Avocado 
4 Cherry Tomatoes, Quartered
2 Tortilla Wraps

SEASONING
For the chicken, simply season with a touch of dried garlic, salt, pepper and a little olive oil. If possible, the smashed avocado could do with a dash of lime juice, coriander and chilli flakes to give it more of a “guacamole” taste, but if you can’t get your hands on them it’s not the end of the world – a sprinkle of salt and pepper will do.

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So, this is how I did it…

1. Season the chicken and pop in the oven for 20 – 30 minutes (depending on size) on 200°C.

2. Remove the avocado half from its skin and, along with the chopped cherry tomatoes in a bowl, smush together with a fork until you’ve created a chunky paste.

3. Grab some tortilla wraps and lay out the mixed salad. Remove the chicken from the oven, slice, and arrange on top of the salad leaves. Spread a dollop of smashed avocado alongside.

4. Wrap and enjoy there and then, or pack for lunch the next day! 🌯

I Want to Get Fit, But Joining a Gym Really Isn’t For Me | #ThisGirlEats

Every fitness freak and health guru I know goes to the gym, so I’m not here to bash it; it works, no doubt about it. Obviously it’s great to get off our butts to exercise and, for most people, the gym is the perfect place, with access to equipment, space and support that they don’t have at home. But I’m just NOT a gym person, and I can’t see that changing anytime soon.

I’ll be totally honest – I’m scared. The thought of trying to exercise – and I’m no athlete, I’ll tell ya that – in a room full of people, is my idea of hell. It’s super intimidating and a hurdle I have no interest in overcoming. I find it hard enough to pluck up the determination and motivation to work out in the first place, let alone having to worry about getting some confidence under my belt as well.

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And then it’s the money. Sure, some gym memberships are affordable, but it’s very much a disposable income luxury. And before I’m bombarded with links to cheap gym subscriptions and people yelling at me “I ONLY PAY £15 A MONTH FOR MINE, I BET YOU SPEND MORE THAN THAT ON STARBUCKS COFFEE EVERY WEEK, BLA BLA BLA!” (because that’s how people yell on Twitter), yes, I understand that’s affordable – for some people. But when you’re skint, anything out of budget is an extra expense, no matter how much of a bargain it may seem to someone else. And I don’t buy Starbucks coffee, thank you very much.

Nope, if I’m going to exercise, you can betcha I’m doing it for free. Running suits me much better than any gym – sure, I’m still rubbish at it, but it doesn’t cost me a penny, it’s out in the fresh air and if I see another person and start feeling self-conscious then I just run away from them! I have spent money occasionally when it comes to exercise – a yoga mat, weights, a collapsible bike – but once they’re paid for I can get as much use out of them as I like without signing up for a membership! 🏃‍♀️

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Like I said, gyms obviously do wonders for some people and if you’ve got that mentality about you then great. Good on ya. But it just doesn’t appeal to me, and I’m afraid I won’t be converted anytime soon (unless someone wants to pay for my membership and give me a private workout room, please and thank you!).

Thin Privilege is DEFINITELY a Thing | #ThisGirlEats

When this term first found its way to me online I thought to myself, “Thin privilege? Surely that’s not a thing? I’ll just have a quick read…” Turns out, it’s a thing. It’s very real, it’s very obvious and it’s very dangerous.

Maybe it’s not the BIGGEST ISSUE EVER – yes, the world has lots of problems right now and it’d be awesome to fix them all but life doesn’t work that way. This is the one I’ve chosen to talk about because I get it. And yes, plenty of overweight people are so because of their own choices. And no, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a slim figure. So now we’ve cleared all that up, let’s acknowledge that how we perceive people often depends on nothing more than their clothes size and, to me, that is not okay.

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Being “privileged” because you’re “thin” doesn’t mean you’ve had it easy. It’s not an all-encompassing phrase. What it means is gaining certain benefits from being thinner, and being relieved of societal pressures that affect overweight people.

For example, those of a smaller figure are more likely to get jobs they interview for; more likely to be the object of affection from potential partners; more likely to be popular among their peers. Fat people, on the other hand, are perceived as too lazy to advance in the workplace; portrayed openly in film and TV as unattractive; often picked on at school. If you think none of this damages someone’s emotional well-being and self-worth, you must be dreaming!

The inclusion of plus-sized and promotion of body positivity has definitely improved, but common beauty standards still essentially say that thinner is better. And because of that, we end up being literally worth our weight. Who says someone bigger isn’t the perfect person for that job? Or great company on a date? Or the best friend you could ever have? It’s all in our heads.

Thinner DOESN’T mean better. It doesn’t mean anything! Size shouldn’t matter this much. What makes up a person is so, so much more than that. I can’t believe we’re still in a position where weight really is so important when there’s honestly so much more to every single one of us.

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Read more… (the internet is literally full of this stuff, these are just a few)

Only 15% of hiring managers would consider hiring an overweight woman

Portrayals of Overweight and Obese Individuals on Commercial Television

How Obesity and Bullying Are Connected

 

What Makes Me Feel Like “Me”? | #ThisGirlEats

I don’t know what it is but, lately, I just haven’t felt like myself. I don’t know if anyone else ever feels this way – you can’t quite put your finger on it, nothing particularly noticeable, there’s no real reason for it, but you just feel… different. Something isn’t quite right, not quite “you”. While mooching around at home feeling confused and lethargic of course has been super fun, I’m trying to pull myself out of this funk.

I’ve been thinking about how to do that. I’ve spent time recalling things that really make me feel like myself, things that really draw my most familiar self to the surface. They’re usually little things, no grand gestures but just small, seemingly insignificant habits that make me feel like myself. And this little list is what I came up with!

Wearing a full face of make up 💄
Maybe it’s vein, but how you look and, more importantly, how you feel when you look in the mirror can really play with your emotions. I used to wear make up everyday but, since working in an office, I don’t paint my face at all in the week. Although I’m quite comfortable with that most of the time, when the weekend rolls around and I do my make up properly it’s like looking at someone I truly recognise, and that feels great.

Listening to my favourite music – mostly pop-punk
I know everyone says, “Ooh, I like all kinds of music!” (You like all kinds of music do you Susan? How about some early ‘00s trap music? Or have you ever heard of Babymetal..?) but I really do like a good variety, from nu-metal to showtunes. But my absolute favourite, even after all these years, is pop-punk. I’ve loved it since I was 13 and, yeah, maybe I should’ve grown out of it by now, but it reminds me of who I am, and who I’ve always been, and nothing makes me feel surer of myself.

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Laughing REALLY loud
Laughter is the best medicine, that’s what they say. I’m not sure if laughter really can cure everything, I think it’s invaluable when it comes to boosting our mood. We never really know the benefits of a good laugh until we’re there, doubled over, guffawing big belly laughs, tears streaming down our faces. Is there anything better? 😂😂😂

Going to a gig and losing my mind
Even though I barely have the 1) time, 2) money or 3) energy to go to many gigs these days (my uni schedule was honestly such a gift…) it’s still my favourite thing in the world to do. I can’t think of anything better than going to see a band I really love, yelling out every word, throwing myself around to every beat, and just having fun. It’s probably the most “me” place I could be.

Watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Not only is this one of my favourite films, but it’s also a fabulous, high-heeled riot all about liberation, freedom and being thoroughly yourself. Whenever I watch it, I feel most in tune with who I am and what I love. It gives me a sense of inspiration unlike anything else.

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Feeling Demotivated? These Songs Always Help Me Get Back Into My Groove | #ThisGirlEats

Lately, I’ve hit another slump. It’s difficult, trying to keep up this whole blogging thing, one minute you’re buzzing full of creativity and the next you can barely muster up the energy to open your laptop. The blogging bug comes and goes it has definitely, for the time being, packed up its bags and left me. Probably for someone hotter with more money and a nicer car…

A whole load of things that can lift that dark cloud. Sometimes it’s getting a little positive boost out of nowhere, sometimes the ideas just hit you. For me, these tunes definitely help! I’m not saying they’re going to turn your world upside down, but they always perk me up and get me back into the swing of things, even if only for an hour or two.

I’ve got a “FEEL-GOOD!” playlist on Spotify and I’d really advise doing something similar. Throwing together a bunch of positive, upbeat, fun songs that make you feel better and having it to hand whenever you need a pick-me-up is one of the many benefits of living in the modern age!

Hakuna Matata – The Lion King
Who doesn’t feel better after hearing this awesome song from the BEST DISNEY FILM EVER?! Don’t even try arguing with me.

Rose-Colored Boy – Paramore
Paramore are masters of creating songs about feeling kinda rubbish but with a cute, upbeat melody that always makes you feel good.

You Need Me, I Don’t Need You – Ed Sheeran
Whenever I feel like I’m not quite where I want to be, this song reminds me that I’m awesome and have plenty to bring to the table.

Pork and Beans – Weezer
‘Pork and Beans’ always reminds me, when I’m having a bit of a self-confidence wobble, that I’m totally fine just the way I am, and should never worry about just being myself.

Born This Way – Lady Gaga
The ultimate positive anthem, you can’t help but feel better with this song and its life-affirming message!

 

Happy As F**k – MOD SUN
Just a small nudge to appreciate life, and all the little things we should be grateful for.

Hard Times – Paramore
Put on ‘Hard Times’ and I’ll relate. BIG TIME. But I’ll also start dancing, it’s inevitable.

 

Give Me One Good Reason – blink-182
This is a great one for telling yourself that you don’t need to change or compromise for others, that you don’t need to be just like everyone else. You do you!

Weirdo – VUKOVI
There is NOTHING wrong with being weird! All the best people are…

 

Unstoppable – Sia
Want to feel empowered? Strong? Totally capable of absolutely anything? This song is the one!

 

Survivor – Destiny’s Child
Need I say more?!

This Is Why I Don’t Have Fancy Photos on My Blog | #ThisGirlEats

If you’ve read my blog, you’ll see that my visual content could definitely use some work – I’ll be the first to admit it! My recipes usually have photos (if I remember before I start stuffing my face!) but they’re in NO WAY pro shots. And as for my other posts, most of them are bulked out by GIFs (always credited).

Compared to most other bloggers, with their beautiful Instagram pics outside fancy London houses and plates of food served on slates to the backdrop of a tropical beach landscape, mine is shoddy work.

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So, why don’t I have fancy “blogger” photos on #ThisGirlEats?

Don’t get me wrong, I like them. I love looking at them. I’m downright jealous of them most of the time! If I could have them for every post I publish, I would.

But, first and foremost, I’m too damn busy! I work full-time (not blogging, unfortunately) and somehow manage to also whip up three posts a week. Between working and writing, where would I find the time to get professional shots for three posts every single week?! I can’t keep up! I simply don’t have time.

Another reason is because I feel so hideously uncomfortable in front of the camera. Silly, candid shots, fun family photos and couples selfies (as you can see!), they’re all fine. But standing propped up against a wall, choosing the perfect hair, make-up and outfit, and posing – oh god, the posing – just makes me cringe. And I just know I’d spend hours afterwards picking faults with myself, no matter how nice the photos look. I can’t imagine ever enjoying that experience. 📸

And, finally, my blog is all about REAL FOOD. When I create a recipe, it’s food I actually eat. I cook it in my tiny kitchen with wonky cupboards and peeling pots and pans. I use ingredients that are messy, I spill tinned tomatoes on the side, drop slices of onion on the floor. It’s not “pretty”, it’s not restaurant food. It’s food I make out of what’s in my cupboards, food bought on a budget, food to sustain me, food served up for me and my boyfriend to eat on the sofa watching Netflix after a long day at work. My photos look a little rough around the edges because my food is a little rough around the edges – heck, life is a little rough around the edges!

I try to make it look appealing, of course. Believe it or not, the photo above is one of my better ones! But the truth is, I just come home from work, cook something up and grab a snap on my phone before plonking myself down to eat it. The food I cook and the things I write are real, so it might not look Instagram-worthy but, hey, that’s life.